July 8, 2023

I’ve been thinking a lot about the most recent mass shootings in the news. Most recent. It’s disturbing to think that shootings are so commonplace that we think in these terms. My heart is heavy. Why do we insist on categorizing people we disagree with? More importantly, why do angry and distressed people think that killing others is somehow an answer to their own pain? Why do we think that violence is any kind of answer?

The United States is so divided that many people will stop at nothing to harm (through words or actions) those who disagree with them. Yet, anyone with enough intelligence and compassion to look deeply at this situation knows that we only worsen the divide by assuming that everyone in a particular group is the same. That’s nonsense! My mind understands this. Yet, my heart is breaking.

There is another way; the path of nonviolence. Choosing nonviolence in a violent world isn’t naive or ineffective. Standing up for what you believe, or more likely for what you feel threatened by, doesn’t have to depend on violence, including violent thoughts. The right to self-defense is an entirely different topic, but I will say that I’ve been in situations where I’ve been threatened, once with a knife to my throat. In each situation where I felt unsafe, I was able to talk the person down. In fact, many people train in Aikido, a martial art that cultivates the way of the harmonious spirit. The goal is to defend yourself without harming your attacker. In situations where this isn’t possible, each person has to decide their actions.

Instead of expressing our anger by using guns, rioting, or screaming slurs at people, I think we’d get much further through meditation, prayer, and acts of compassion. Thich Nhat Hanh, or Thay (which means Teacher), said, “Peace in oneself, Peace in the world.” We can also listen to people’s stories and reach out to the marginalized in our society (something I need to do more of). Jesus said we need to love our neighbor as ourselves. He wasn’t suggesting touchy-feely sentimentality. I know that because he prefaced his statement by saying we should love God with all our hearts, soul, and minds. He was telling us to love people the way God does, unconditionally and deeply.

I’m willing to listen to a person’s story if they’re angry. We all feel pain, some more than others. I’m also willing to help someone who wants to learn to respond more healthily. I would hope people are willing to do the same for me when I react in ways that aren’t helpful.

The Beatles famously sang, “All we need is love.” It’s true. We need a deep and abiding love. We don’t need sentimentality and unconditional acceptance of every thought, feeling, and behavior that someone expresses. That isn’t love. But we can certainly love people deeply without agreeing with them.

Let’s transform the world together. As Thay wrote, “Peace is every step.” Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” Gandhi said, “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” And let’s not forget the amazing Cat Stevens and his song, Peace Train.

Now I’ve been crying lately

Thinkin’ about the world as it is

Why must we go on hating?

Why can’t we live in bliss?

‘Cause out on the edge of darkness

There rides a peace train

Oh, peace train take this country

Come take me home again

Oh, peace train sounding louder

Glide on the peace train.

Cat Stevens, 1971

Deborah Bray Haddock, © 2023